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If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap
If I Can’t Write My Chocolate Song, I’m Going To Take A Nap is the 4th episode of season 1, and the 4th episode overall. Plot Berta (Conchata Ferrell), Charlie’s house keeper quits her job, as Alan deems the way she does her job unacceptable. While Charlie never complained on how Berta ran things, Alan nagged about food items, laundry and cleanliness. Charlie feels hopeless without her, as he doesn’t know anything about running the affairs of his house, even making the coffee. Alan offers his services on taking care of the house hold chores, but Charlie immediately misses Berta, saying that the coffee she made tasted ‘Christmassy’. Charlie also instructs Alan not to clean a room when he is present there, as Berta never did so. Alan also scents Charlie’s piano with Lemon, which disturbs him, as he always requires his piano to be unscented. Later, Alan disturbs Charlie’s sleep while collecting laundry from his room, and when he deems it impossible to match Berta’s way of working, he plans on meeting her, and apologizing to her to return to work. This involves Charlie taking care of Jake, and get him ready for dinner with Judith and her parents. However, it becomes difficult when Jake gets more interested in cleaning and fixing his bicycle chain. Jake finally gets ready in time, but not before Charlie accepts defeat and drinks in despair. Alan finds Berta at the address given to him by Rose. In order to make her come back, Alan helps her with chores at her other employers home. She still refuses, but suddenly feels back pain, to which Alan offers his chiropractic adjustment, after which Berta finally says yes, on the condition that he does his own laundry, gets his groceries, and gives her back adjustments twice a week. A minor sub-plot involves Rose, who continues stalking Charlie, but Charlie manages to get rid of her by explaining to her that they should see other people, to whom she suggests a guy named ‘Andy’. Charlie makes her go and ask him out. Rose reveals that’s Andy said yes, and irritates Charlie by making him watch all the dresses while he tries to get Jake ready for the dinner. Rose returns to Charlie at night, claiming that ‘Randy’ rejected her. Feeling sorry for her, Charlie offers to take her to dinner, but realizes that she was faking the whole thing when he notices that she said named the guy Randy. Cast *Charlie Sheen *Jon Cryer *Angus T. Jones *Marin Hinkle *Melanie Lynskey Trivia *This is the first appearance of Berta (Conchata Ferrell) *Despite Charlie saying Berta did the shopping in the first episode, Charlie did the shopping with Jake and did the shopping in later episodes. * Evelyn does not appear in this episode. Guest Starring *Steven Tyler as Himself (Voice only) *Conchata Ferrell as Berta Title quotation from Charlie, after losing inspiration as his piano smelled like lemon Pledge. Category:Episodes Category:Season 1